Firefighter Kit

That's right, everything you'll need to be a firefighter is right here. You get a Badge, A walkie-talkie, a whistle, and an Ax. So now if there's a fire, you can run around, chopping things up while blowing a whistle like a maniac, and brag to your buddies over the radio. If anyone ever tries to stop you from chopping up their stuff, all you have to do flash your badge and blow noise in their face.

Now many people will try to tell you that you'll need protective clothing and a helmet, or at least a hose, but they don't truly understand the subtle nuances of being a hatchet-wielding caustic combatant.

Wild Animal Box Sale Set

So most of the time when you see these generic animal toys at gift shops and tourist traps they probably don't garner much attention from you, and rightfully so. More often than not those sets are hastily put together, not thought out well design wise, and ultimately nothing to write home about. So why would I write about one of these dull sets?… because this one gets it so wrong it becomes almost surreal.

First off all of the animals, from Zebra to Elephant, are the same size. That's right folks, Tigers and Elephants can apparently box in the same weight class.

The colors are fun to try and understand. Since when were Giraffes ORANGE? Look at that Zebra, I can see why it only takes baby Zebras a few hours to memorize their mothers' stripe pattern… considering they only appear to have TWELVE!

The faces are probably the funnest and most rewarding things about these garish toys. If you look at the Elephant's eyes, it appears that their coked out something fierce. My absolute favorite thing in this set is the Lion's face, because there's nothing funnier then the king of the jungle having a kisser that looks like George Went… I know I'm not the only one who sees it