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Helicopter captain
This toy was born off of the old G.I.Joe tradition of figures having their own personalized mini vehicles, complete with all the idiotic bells and whistles (like a police officer with a mini sub), and this dollar store toy keeps to that tradition fairly loyally. The problem comes in when you try to play with the toy's propeller. The helicopter seems to have been sculpted too small, so every time you use the blades they strike the neck of the gulf war-style pilot.
Now we won't linger on the sick social commentary that this toy evokes, but instead lets examine the sheer absurdity of a vehicle that seems to be designed to purposely decapitate the pilot. Is being straddled with this deathtrap along the lines of pulling the short straw, or is the real operator in truth a midget and the blades designed as a sort of pro-active VIPER defense system? Perhaps Halburtan industries have finally gone too far in pushing their garbage upon the government. The world may never know. |
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My Lover Mermaid
On the surface, this toy would seem to be a charming little plaything for girls… but what the hell's up with the name? My Lover Mermaid? It sounds like some sort of bizarre love doll for fish fetishists or like it was the end result of a direct translation from Japanese after being directly translated from Ree Ree.
Who approves names for these toys? I mean did somebody think this sounded good, or were they all too waisted on Milwaukee's best light during the pitch to really notice what kind of a bad name this was? |
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