22A

The only way to preserve our freedom is to utterly surrender it to military interests. In the 50's, a group of New Yorkers meet in a bar of cocktail hour. Conversation makes its way to the universal draft, the new purposed plan by the government to make every resource recruitable by the government for the build-up of the military industrial complex against the Russian threat. Most of the individuals at the bar decide that they'd rather make money and own their own businesses then turn them over to government interests (how un-american, hu?). While this is going on, an ominous seaming guy (accent, possibly gay) muses about the peoples' reactions in an ominous way (again, accent… evil!).

Now the Russians attack, and boy oh boy is it sillier than “Red Dawn.” Apparently the second the USSR drove the Nazis from their homelands, they immediately dedicated the full production power of their country into making bombers and nukes. They firstly attack Alaska and take over all of the military bases there and use them to launch the mainland attack. The invading infidels are able to reap the maximum damage by flying planes and using uniforms that are replicas of the US ones, how they're able to not shoot each other in the confusion makes me wonder if they have some form of Russian sonar. The Russians also attack by bombing American cities with Nukes, after which they invade with foot soldiers, meaning that either the entire population of the Soviet Union mobilized for the invasion or that Russians are somehow immune to fall-out. Also funny about the entire thing is that by initiating nuclear war, the USSR gets counter attacked, but I suppose it doesn't really matter considering the fact that all of Russia appears to be in the US as part of the invasionary force.

Moment of Madness: Nobody in this flick is actually effected by radiation. It's amazing how the bombs are exploding everywhere, but the actual characters die from things like dams bursting and traitors inside an auto-parts factory… traitors inside an auto-parts factory?

Bullshit or Reel?

Reel, the movie is called “Rocket Attack USA,” and if any of this is familiar then you may have seen it on MST3K a while back. This one is part of a long tradition of paranoia invasion movies, the earliest probably being a pre-World War I flick implying the idea that if the US involved itself in the great war that our country would be invaded and concurred by huns (sorry: the name escapes me, but we're talking silent era here).

22B

Sometimes it takes a dirty, dirty man to make the streets clean, and there's only so far you can push a hobo before he pushes back. This flick follows the exploits of a homeless man who one day decides enough is enough, and with the aid of a rifle and the infinite ammo code from Doom, starts a one-man war on crime.

Hobo's rampage eventually cuts into the crime empire of the big boss, who offers the key to his harem of fine biatches to whoever can bring down that damn vagrant, sending an army of razor bikers and dentists to exact revenge.

There's not a whole lot to this movie, basically it's like they took “Death Wish,” removed the deep character development, and replaced it with more action. What a ride, baby… what a ride.

Moment of madness: The announcer who periodically chimes in to inform the audience as to what's going on is hilarious. Every time he yells “Hobo with a Shotgun!” I almost wet ‘um.

Bullshit or Reel?

April Fools! It's neither… and both! How's this possible you ask? As part of a contest tied to the theatrical release of “Grindhouse,” there was an online contest where amateurs could make a trailer for a fake exploitation film. This was (I believe) one of the contestants… and holy crap is it amazing. Go see it for yourself at YouTube now… just look for “HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN!”